Smitten In The Stars
by Kamiko Kiyo
Summary: Greek God AU. MaBill. They were ice and fire. Day and night. Life and Death. By nature itself, they were meant to repel one another, but Bill never did like to obey the natural order. Even now, he still refused to. Now if only the natural order would stop disobeying him.
1. Chapter 1

Bill loathed the first day of Autumn like no other. He would happily extinguish it from existence if he had the power, but no. Smiting single days of the year from their state of being was one of the few things outside his power. He could send forth a rain of death upon mankind, nature and even the stars themselves, but not that one single day of the year. Scratch that. Getting rid of the first day of spring, which was ironically no field of fresh flowers either, would be nice too. The limits of his hatred had enough room for two days of the year. At least.

"Welcome back, Wife." He couldn't even muster his usual false cheer. That had been lost thousands of years ago. And yet, they had done this same song and dance for thousands of years and things never seemed to change. It could be a bitch to be immortal at times. Much like his wife currently was. A bitch, that is.

"Yeah. I'm back." Mabel sighed at the depressing landscape outside the window of the throne room with crossed arms. Six months in the upper planes and six months at "home" didn't feel even close to being equal, just like always. Normally, she was used to the Underworld, but after living above ground under the sun, stars and moon with life flourishing everywhere for half a year, the harsh reality that this was her home never failed to kill any positive mood she had. To think she was once known for her energy and optimism.

She now wished that she had stayed a few days or weeks longer like last year. Bill had been pissed at her being late, but she already missed the sunshine. And her family.

"For once, could we skip the sulking?" Bill drawled with annoyance. It wasn't the first time he'd asked, but he was gambler.

"I haven't even said anything." Mabel glared at him. She knew her attitude sucked, but knowing that she was back here because of him, she often found that she didn't really care if she was a pain in his ass.

"No, but your face and tone sure could fool me." He scowled.

"Oh darling, I'm so glad that I could leave my family and the mortal realm full of life behind to come back to this literal hellhole to be with you!" Mabel grasped her hands together and tilted her head at him, beaming. The look quickly slipped from her face. "Is that better?"

"Heh. I've sent souls to an eternity of torture for less sass than you give me." Bill smiled tightly. "Maybe you'd like to join them and learn to respect me for once."

Mabel snorted, unimpressed. "Old threats, hubby dear. You really think that's gonna still work on me?" If anything, her years of marriage to Bill had taught her just what it meant to be married to Bill. He had tried to subjugate her with fear and threats like this in the beginning and it had worked for a time. But then she'd had a very enlightening conversation with a little blue birdie.

As his wife, Mabel had just as much power and influence within the Underworld as he did. She couldn't change what a horrid place it was as that had predated even Bill's dominion over the place, but he couldn't touch her. His power was her power and therefore, he had none over her.

The smirk on her face faded when she noted that Bill's was becoming more sincere. "Ah, Wife. You underestimate just how much time I have on my hands while you're away. I-"

Bill trailed and leaned forward, prompting Mabel to lean back. However, she knew that the cat was now out of the bag. And here she was hoping she could fix this before he noticed.

"Wife?"

"Yes?" She spoke slowly, dread growing in her stomach.

"Where is your shooting star?"

"…"

All humor drained from his face and the gaze of his single golden eye burned into Mabel as she averted her own nervously.

"Where is it?" he repeated firmly.

Her silence only served to make him more impatient. His hand snaked out to touch the side of her head. He then grasped her hair there and with a light tug, he turned her face to look up at him.

"Mabel." His voice was a low purr. It might have sounded soft and endearing to the ignorant observer, but Mabel easily recognized the thinly veiled demand in his tone.

She swallowed. "I… I lo… I lost it."

Bill let her hair fall through his fingers and stepped back, disappearing and reappearing on his throne. Slouched in his seat, he rubbed his temple with a sigh.

"How?" he asked lowly, but sounded more tired than anything.

"I fell asleep in the field and when I woke up, it was gone." Mabel spoke as if every word was pulled from her mouth like a tooth.

"What? Did the bunnies of the forest run off with it?" Bill asked, raising his voice in consternation as the fact began to sink in.

"I don't know how it happened, okay? I didn't know it was such a danger to take a nap in the meadow," she huffed. Mabel had done it plenty of times before and after her marriage to Bill.

"Mistake number one, Wife. One you'd never make if you slept in the meadows here," Bill ground out as he held his head. They were less meadows and more fire scorched land void of all but death and demonic monstrosities.

"Oh really? Are you going to make me do it then? Just like you're going to make me join the torture of the gods forsaken souls down here?" Mabel crossed her arms angrily. "Because I promise you, every second, whether it's waking up to screaming heads or finding deer teeth clogging up the sink, is torture enough."

"You lost your shooting star and you have the audacity to talk back to me." Bill ignored her and laughed humorlessly with shake his head. "You have no idea what you just LOST!" His hand slid from his face and his arm snapped out to point at her. A laser shot out, missing Mabel by an inch and demolished the pillar behind her to nothing but ashes.

Having thrown her arms out protectively from his attack, Mabel let them fall from her head as she looked back at the damage and glared at him. "You did _not_ just pull a smiting fake-out on me!" She shouted in outrage.

"Tempt me to pull a real one, Wife," Bill challenged her. "Seriously. Tempt me. I've heard it's a great time once you get over the agonizing pain of having every cell in your body fried like an egg on the sun."

"All this over some stupid trinket from when we got married?" Mabel growled.

"It wasn't just some _trinket_ ," Bill's voice sounded like it was layered over itself and amplified throughout the room as blue flames engulfed everything but where they both were.

"Well, if it was so important, then why did you give it to me!?"

It was in the middle of one of her six months in his realm. They'd been married for twelve years and they had been the worst time of her life, but even hating Bill for bringing her there had grown old. She was lonely and had just needed something. Some reassurance that it wasn't so bad there even though she knew she'd be able to leave eventually. Only to have to come back.

He'd come to her with the shooting star one day.

"What?" she had groaned and forced herself to turn on her side to at least look at him, lest she incur his anger. She'd been too tired at the time to deal with Bill having a fit.

Mabel had opted to stay in her room as much as possible so she could shut out his world and pretend she was somewhere else. But confining herself to the same space for so long could be just as maddening, so she tended to sleep constantly to try and escape mentally if not physically. It was also before she'd realized she could have driven him out if she'd wanted to.

"I know you're unhappy here." He had been uncharacteristically serious as before he'd continually been smug and indifferent to her glum state, insisting she'd better get used to the Underworld. "This can't make up for that, but I wanted you to have this." Despite her intentions to throw whatever he had for her back in his face, the first time she'd seen the shooting star it had astounded her with its beauty to silence.

"Your powers are weak here," he'd explained. "That's making you feel weaker as well. This signifies our marriage, but it also protects you and your powers from the decay of the Underworld. Your capabilities will still be limited, but you'll be able to make things grow. You'll be able to create life again, even down here."

At the time, he'd given her hope.

"Well? Why?" When Bill didn't answer her question, Mabel snapped. "If this is about my powers weakening and me becoming mopey like before then don't worry your big fat head!" Mabel failed to notice how Bill's jaw tightened. "I won't bother you with how I'm feeling anymore!" She turned on her heel towards the door and the flames parted for her instantly.

"Damn it, Shooting Star. That's not-"

Mabel slammed the door behind her and Bill ground his teeth.

"If I didn't give a damn…"

* * *

Author's Note: I'm a horrible person for continually making new projects before I even get a good way into my old ones.

Anyway, this was going to be a oneshot, but instead it'll just be a short story. Hopefully, one I'll finish before I even think about starting ANOTHER story. Just a quick note, this is based on the old Persephone Kidnapping story from the Greek lore. Bill is Hades and Mabel is Persephone. If you've never heard of that story, the gist is that Hades, king of the Underworld, kidnapped Persephone to be his wife. But the world got thrown out of balance with Persephone gone, nothing growing and people starving, so Persephone stayed with Hades half of the year (fall and winter) and with her mom, Demeter, the other half (winter and spring).

I know there are variations and all, but that's the basics and this is my take anyway, so I'm just going with it for the fun of it. I hope you review and enjoy the story!


	2. Chapter 2

She hated Bill. That was what almost everyone thought. Maybe even Bill himself. But that wasn't true. He was one of the smuggest gods she had ever met with a tendency to occasionally go off the deep end, despite being unnervingly sly underneath it all, but she didn't hate him.

She merely held a very healthy and understandable disdain towards him at the moment.

Mabel sighed and inhaled the soothing smell of lavender permeating from the flowers all around her. Her place was the only place in the Underworld where she could feel even a semblance of being at home. With her powers restored from her shooting star, the first thing she'd done was create it. Life had thrived within the small plot of land in the secluded alcove she'd found and had expanded even further since to be at least an acre. Some even called it Mabel Forest and hailed it as a glimpse of heaven in hell.

It also helped that the miasma of the Underworld, which made the place so unbearable to inhabit for long, wasn't as strong within their home. Constant decay, torture, fire and blood didn't age very well and it had been going on for longer than most of the current gods had been alive. Even Bill wasn't overly fond of it, so he'd created a barrier to filter some of it out within their home.

However, despite that measure, she could already feel her power waning from the polluted air, diluted as it might be. Where she would normally never let a single flower, bush or tree wilt in her place, life was visibly draining from the ground. The colors weren't as vibrant, the floral scent was weaker and everything looked dry and thirsty even though her tenders always did proper upkeep while she was away for half of the year.

A high-pitched, seemingly incomprehensive echo of sound caught her attention and Mabel curiously peeked her head out of the mass of lavender surrounding her. A smile graced her lips at the soft clicking directed at her.

"I'll be okay, Dippy. Don't worry," she reassured the concerned sprite. He was the first tender that Mabel had ever made. She didn't care for most nymphs. The ones from the Underworld, lampades, were out of the question and even if she managed to bring some from the upper planes, they'd be as miserable as her in the otherwise lifeless, dreary world.

But she'd needed someone to take care of Mabel Forest while she was gone. And more importantly, she'd needed a friend. That was why she called them tenders rather than servants like Bill did. They tended her garden, but she was also tender towards them, like the children she never had, and they towards her.

Rather than recreating something like nymphs, Mabel had taken some inspiration from the sprites of the theatre god, the kobalos, when making her own, the amanati. Though the former could be mischievous, they were quite fun and didn't mean harm so long as you stayed on their good side.

Mabel had to say, however, that her amanati were quite a bit cuter. They were toddler-sized, fairy-like creatures with pointed ears, light, paper-thin wings and sparkling orbs for eyes, imbued with an affinity for nature just like her. But being created in the Underworld, they were much more accustomed to the morbid environment, though they still shared the same shapeshifting ability that the kobalos had. Dippy was named after her twin brother, but it was clear that the sprite was called that for more than a namesake.

She hadn't done it on purpose, but she supposed her longing for home and her brother had simply manifested itself in Dippy. Though the amanati's eyes were purple, jewel-like orbs that resembled a starry night and the gossamer wings on his back fluttered like a hummingbird, his short hair was chocolate brown and his face had a soft curvature that she was familiar with. Essentially, he looked like a young, spritely version of her brother.

The amanati couldn't talk, but, rather than actual speech, they used an echoing sort of language and clicks. Mabel could understand them and they could understand speech, but no one else could decipher what the creatures said. She guessed it was because she had created them with her alone in my mind.

Dippy reached out to caress her cheek and clicked at her comfortingly. This was a cycle as sure and familiar as the seasons which his mistress brought about, but it was no less upsetting to see her so depressed.

Suddenly, Dippy sensed a disturbance and flew into the lavender that Mabel had grown around herself. Flowers flew into the air as he cowered at her side and the goddess knew exactly why as she pulled her head back into the flowery mass.

There was silence at first and Mabel let herself hope that he would get the hint. If he did, he didn't take it.

"Are you going to come out? I've literally got all of eternity." Bill crossed his arms, looking around at the state of the forest with a frown.

"Go away. Flower Village has a strict "no jerkface" policy… unless you're gonna smite this place too," Mabel spat accusingly as she patted Dippy's head soothingly.

His first spring and summer with Bill hadn't gone well. Even now, the details were sketchy on her part, but she at least knew that Dippy had taken her directions to "take care of the garden" as "keep everyone out." Bill had probably taken that as well as he normally did when someone told him what to do, but the only insight on the incident that Mabel ever got was from Bill telling her that they had "played a game."

Though she couldn't see it, Bill shrugged. "Don't really have to. Why waste the energy? Given the current shriveling state of its surroundings, I can easily wait. Before long the inhabitants will slowly dry up to a crisp before the infrastructure of the village collapses upon itself and then you'll have nowhere to hide."

"… Why do you have to ruin everything?" she grumbled.

"What can I say? It's a talent of mine." Bill crouched in front of the flower mass and used his cane to reach in and poke at the nature goddess repeatedly. "Stop draining your powers with this nonsense and talk to me. You're making this even more painful than it usually is."

"Unlike me, nothing is keeping you here against your will. And I seem to recall you threatening me with torture, so who's the one really bringing the pain?" Mabel asked sardonically.

Bill scoffed. "One empty threat and you run off sulking? One, the both of us know I can't actually deliver on any threats of bodily harm. And two, I thought you were made of tougher stuff, Wife."

"Don't you dare try to turn this around," the brunette lashed out sharply. "I'm sorry I lost my shooting star, but it's gone. There's nothing I can do about it and you haranguing me for losing it won't change a thing. So sit on your throne all high and mighty, but remember that _you_ gave it _me_. It was mine. So if anyone should be upset at me for losing it, it should be me. Which I am! But what do you know?" Mabel asked sarcastically. "You blaming me isn't making me feel any better about it, so excuse me for sulking!"

"Ya done?" Bill asked blandly, his nudging cane never ceasing.

"Poke me again and I will personally gorge out your other eye!" Mabel screamed. He'd lost the first one long ago in some incident a while after they got married, but it sure didn't seem to slow him down.

Bill let out a low whistle, but pulled back his cane nonetheless. " _Someone_ woke up on the wrong side of the Styx river." He then sat down on the grass with a sigh. "I'm not here to pick a fight, Wife. I admit, I got a tiny little bit… _absolutely livid_ back there, but I'm the King of the Underworld. Things are supposed to go my way down here."

"Oh, boo hoo. My livelihood is life and I'm stuck in the realm that literally thrives off of the antithesis of that, but you don't see me shooting at people and blasting pillars." Seeing the lavender covering his wife shift, Bill assumed she was crossing her arms.

The death god frowned. "No, _you_ just turn the palace into an overgrown greenhouse when you get upset."

"At least it makes the place less desolate and macabre." Though it sure took a lot out of her afterwards. "And _I_ don't throw fits over whether the couch makes a triangle that's isosceles or equilateral!"

"… We all have our flaws. Nothing to do about it." He shrugged. "Though that damn couch was scalene and you know it," he muttered under his breath. "My point remains. I got upset, but what's important now is finding a way to get your shooting star back."

And meting out a punishment to the thief that only the King of the Underworld could deliver on.

* * *

Author's Note: I don't have much to say this chapter, other than the story for this is coming along nicely and shit is going to go down. I've been having some writer's block, so it's a relief that writing this is coming so easily to me. Hopefully the same will come with my other stories soon. Thank you guys for reading, reviewing or just taking an interest in this story. It's so much fun to play around with the lore and get deeper into an otherwise very superficial story. Please let me know what you think.

Also, amanati is a combination of the Latin word amare (love) and nati (children or born). Both applications work pretty well to be honest. ^_^


	3. Chapter 3

Fire and pain were familiar to Will. They practically went hand in hand for anyone to be fair, but for him, fire and pain were also almost always accompanied by a certain ruler of the Underworld in a foul mood. One which Will would rather jump into a volcano than deal with.

"What the hell, Bill!?" Will cried, narrowly dodging a barrage of fireballs. He wouldn't have seen the first one coming if his master hadn't ferociously bellowed his name.

"Pipe down, you overgrown chicken. I'm not done with you yet!" Before Will flew away, Bill conjured a whip and managed to pin the bird's wings to his body with a snap. Will instantly fell from the air and hit the ground roughly.

"What did I do!?" A yellow blaze engulfed his body as he transformed into his blue haired, human-like guise in order to struggle against his bonds and escape his clearly livid master.

"You and your fucking advice to "talk to her and explain yourself" did shit! It only made things worse!" Bill growled as he approached.

He didn't even know why he had listened to his wimpy servant after his wife had walked out on him in the throne room. He'd reasoned that Will and Mabel got along better than he and Mabel did, so maybe taking a note from the birdbrain might actually help. Bill supposed he failed to take into account one thing. He wasn't Will. And Mabel knew that.

"Instead of trying to kill me, could you maybe tell me what actually happened? It can't be that bad, can it!?" Will pleaded, tearing up and bracing himself for Bill's wrath. Thus, he was surprised when the god actually paused and appeared almost guilty.

"Bill?" Will blinked away his tears of fear as he noted the god's shaking shoulders and tightly fisted hands.

Bill swept his gaze to the side irritably, his lips a firm line. "I didn't… it was… an accident," he said through gritted teeth.

…

Mabel sighed. "Bill, I literally have no idea who stole it. I know it was a wedding memento and everything, but I don't need it… even if it does help restore my powers." Mabel frowned. "If nothing else, can't you just get me another one?"

Bill's jaw clenched. "I could…" he began irritably. "But I gave that shooting star to you and not some thief. And I'm not about to let that smug bastard get away with stealing from you."

"Then where do you suggest we start?" The brunette asked wearily and let Flower Village disperse. When Bill noted Dippy shuddering by her side, he glared spitefully at the amanati. Immediately, Mabel held the tender to her chest with a sharp look of warning at Bill in her sprite's defense.

After a moment, he replied. "Anything unusual happen while you were away? Get any threats? Cause any problems? Make any enemies-?"

"So a typical day for you?" Mabel deadpanned.

"Meet anybody new?" Bill continued despite her interjection.

"Yeah, but I meet new people all the time on the upper planes." She rested her chin on Dippy's head thoughtfully and felt his quivering diminish slightly.

"Anybody that showed any interest in _you_ ," Bill specified, his frown deepening marginally. "It was once popular to steal a lock of hair from a chick you had no chance at. Who knows? Maybe stealing something off of them while they sleep is a new fad."

Mabel gagged in disgust. "Thanks for that creepy mental image, but no. No one showed any "interest" in me."

Bill made a noise of skeptism. "Guess I knew better than to ask you," he muttered, standing to his full height.

"Excuse me?" Mabel narrowed her eyes at him.

"Either you're lying to my face or you're just as ignorant as you always are," Bill murmured with a shake of his head as if this were typical of her. "As much as I'm sure you like to pretend that I don't exist while you're away, I hear things. Lots of things." Bill placed his hands on his hips as he looked down at her.

"Oh? Enlighten me, why don't you?" Mabel drawled sardonically, standing and letting go of Dippy, who flew to hide behind her leg with a soft timid click.

"Boy, where do I even start?" Bill spoke dramatically. "First there was that king from Thessaly with the stupid, big hair-"

"-It was _one_ drink at _one_ party," Mabel defended herself, rolling her eyes.

"-Then some water nymph." Bill tsked. "Talk about fruit hung so low you'd need a shovel to eat it-"

"- Mermando is just a friend! And I'd like to add that _I_ was the one swimming in that stream first." She'd been naked, but Bill didn't need to know that.

"And most recently I heard talk of you hanging with that drama queen." Bill's face scrunched up as if offended by the thought. "What was his name? Gabby? Gibbles? Glub-glub?"

"You mean, Gabe?" Mabel said blandly, crossing her arms.

"Yeah, the freak with the puppets."

"Ugh. Please don't make this into a thing," Mabel pleaded, rubbing her forehead. "Say what you want, but he's renowned for his shows so I went to one and we talked a little. He's not associated with theater for nothing."

"He's also not associated with fertility for nothing," Bill murmured as his eye began to flash dangerously.

"I went to some of his shows. For fun," Mabel reiterated firmly.

"Oh, I'm sure you had fun," Bill snorted in a cutting tone.

"What's that supposed to mean!?"

"Did you have _fun_ with you brother too?" he drawled sarcastically.

"One, I did, thank you very much. And two, you're about as subtle as a screaming fury. He's my _brother_ , Bill! My twin brother."

Bill was just being ridiculous now (at least more ridiculous than usual) and all his accusations were really starting to piss her off.

"Sharing a womb sure didn't stop your parents with you." Bill looked at the result of the union pointedly. He couldn't deny that he didn't like what they produced though. When she wasn't acting like a harpy.

"Oh my gods." She stared at him in disbelief. "I can't believe I have to say this to you, but I'm _not_ into my brother. And oh, I am your _wife_!" Mabel exclaimed heatedly.

"Be that as it may, everyone is into it. You just haven't gone through the phase yet," the god spoke idly even as the urge to do murder flicked past his face. The facts were the facts, but he loathed the very thought. He and Pine Tree weren't on good terms with the whole kidnapping-his-sister-to-be-his-wife thing. No love was lost between them though.

"Seriously? So what?" Mabel shouted in exasperation, throwing her arms up. "Do I have to worry about you and my mom now? Or my dad? Let me remind you, I'm your niece! Is that not close enough for you?"

When it came to the gods, referencing one's genealogy led to about as much discrimination as how much ambrosia you could eat. But Mabel felt pretty strongly about the fact that Dipper and her were just a little more related than the rest of their family. She had helped her mother birth him for her father's sake.

"You're so hung up on me playing around while I'm gone, but what does that say about you?" Mabel spat. "Apparently, we both go for that low hanging fruit," she remarked in a condescending tone. "Don't think I forgot about that time I found you with that minty little nymph."

Humans were meant to be the gods' play things, but nymphs were definitely designed for something a little more in mind.

"For your information, she was an admirer-turned-stalker who I had a very pleasant time with leading on." Bill stated nonchalantly. He didn't know why Mabel was even complaining. In the end, his wife had been the one to turn the naiad into a garden herb. The scent still reminded Bill of his wife's jealous rage. Good times.

"And Pyronica? I know she's been around here lately," Mabel declared, glowering with contempt. "I could smell the burning perfume before I even got to the gates."

"Pfft. You think I'd go for Pyronica?" Bill tapped his cane against his shoulder. "She's a hothead with hardly any self-control and is way too horny for me…" The god paused, contemplating his verbal assessment. "Actually, that doesn't sound too bad," he muttered under his breath.

His neck and limbs screamed in pain suddenly and it took him a moment to follow the path of the thorny rose vines wrapped around his neck, arms and legs. The latter simply came from the recesses of the garden, but the one around his neck led all the way to Mabel's hand.

In a second, his yellow iris began to glow brightly, his pupil thinned to a slit and the white of his eye bled to black menacingly as he met Mabel's gaze who returned the detested look.

"That's right," Mabel growled through gritted teeth as her hand tightened and the grip of the vine constricted around his neck further, drawing blood. Meanwhile, her hand remained perfectly unharmed. "Stupid me. I forgot that you couldn't get anyone to be with you unless you TRICKED THEM INTO BEING STUCK HERE!"

It seemed the past could just never be laid to rest as all of the emotion from long ago came rushing back.

Mabel had been a completely different person. She was optimistic, full of hope… and far too naive. After Bill had taken her, she knew her family would come to take her back and when the call came, she was overjoyed and overconfident.

The earth was dying and so were the humans because she was gone. Nothing would grow and her family neglected their duties in their search for her. Even the other gods combined couldn't make up for the deterioration that it was causing.

So Bill's brother, king of the Gods, had demanded that Mabel return, if only to quell the rampaging search for her.

She had been so close. Soos had been dispatched to retrieve her and bring her home. But as she had waited for the messenger of the gods, Bill had made one last appearance.

 _"Guess this little courtship just wasn't meant to be. A shame," Bill remarked casually._

 _Mabel merely did what she had during her entire stay in the horrific Underworld and promptly ignored him, not without sending a hateful scowl his way. If he had simply courted her normally, she would have been flattered and might have even given him the time of day. But seeing his home, Mabel now knew she would rather dine with a fury._

 _Speaking of which, she also just didn't have the energy to spout venom at him like she had when he'd first taken her. After letting off her steam at him (which seemed completely ineffective anyway), she hadn't consumed a single thing nor spoken in an act of protest. Though, she'd hand it to the death god that she had been close to breaking a few times just due to how absolutely aggravating he could make his presence._

 _"Probably for the best. It isn't much fun to have a skeleton for a wife. I know. I've tried," Bill continued, as if sensing her thoughts._

 _Mabel narrowed her eyes at him and flipped him the bird._

 _"Come on, kid. It was a plan I hatched on a little too much nectar and once it was done I just kind of went with it. I gave it an honest try and accidentally almost wiped out the human race." He shrugged guiltlessly. "Can you blame me for at least giving it a shot?" Bill threw his arms up helplessly._

 _When Mabel didn't reply, Bill's lip jutted out in a pout._

Crack!

 _Mabel jumped at the sound and snapped her head back to Bill to find him munching (very loudly) on some seeds in a bag. She instantly seethed at him for doing this to her up until the very end. It hadn't been the first time he had tried to tempt her to break her protest and eat by doing just that right in front of her._

 _Somehow it had been easier when she wasn't sure when she would be released. Because now knowing that she would be hours away from eating, the brunette's stomach cried out even more for sustenance._

 _"Ya know, there aren't many things that grow well down here," Bill spoke with his mouth full, "but these pomegranate seeds can really hit the spot. I've hardly eaten anything all day, so I'm practically staaaaarving." He swallowed and glanced over to Mabel who he could almost mistake for a shadow creature the way she was glaring at him._

 _"They're even candied. It's practically like shoving a gallon of sugar down your windpipe with eat bite," he egged her on further, laughing maniacally on the inside. Everyone knew her love of sweets was unrivaled by any god or goddess._

 _"I…"_

 _Bill blinked, almost missing the sound of her soft voice. It was weak and faltering, but he could still hear and feel the full extent of her contempt._

 _"I hate you… so much…" Mabel muttered, curling into herself as she held her stomach._

 _"And she finally speaks." It wasn't quite as satisfying as he thought it would be. Seeing her withering form, he sighed and picked up the bag, brushing it against her cheek to get her attention._

 _"Come on, Shooting Star," he urged her gently with that infuriating nickname. He might as well be calling her Toots, Doll or Sweet Cheeks. "You're outta here in no time at all. You wanna faint the moment you see that dumb sibling of yours and make him worry even more?"_

 _Mabel turned her head to glance at him, a look of suspicion passing her eyes before she spotted the bag of seeds and stared at it longingly._

 _"I wasn't lying. These are the shit," Bill spoke with a light smirk as Mabel uncurled with a sigh and began to open the bag hesitantly. "Oh, they're not poisoned either," he added offhandedly causing the goddess to freeze and throw him a dirty look. "Really, they're not," he reaffirmed. "When I have poison I at least need some nectar on the side. I've got_ some _standards," he huffed, crossing his arms._

 _Eyes shifting from the bag to Bill, then back to the bag again, Mabel pursed her lips before rummaging through the bag in surrender._

 _"I still hate you," Mabel murmured, taking a few and popping them into her mouth. She'd just have a little. Gods didn't need to eat that much anyway._

 _Bill grinned broadly at her. "I hate me too."_

She hadn't known at the time that eating something from the Underworld, even if it was just a few seeds, would force her to return. Yet, after all he had done to chain her to him and the Underworld, he dared to toss her aside like an old toy.

"Wife. Calm the fuck down. You really… really don't know what you're dealing with," Bill warned her, feeling the thorns cut into his skin as the scent of roses permeated the air.

"Oh, I know exactly what I'm dealing with. But what I don't know is why the hell I even stay faithful to a manipulative bastard like you," Mabel laughed wryly. "It's not like you even miss me. I'm just a thorn in your side. One bad marriage mistake you're stuck with. All I think about when I'm gone is coming back here when I _should_ be spending my time on someone who actually deserves it."

Bill was silent, grinding his teeth together before stilling as if a thought occurred to him. He chuckled lightly. "That's right. I tricked you. I'm the monster here and the least deserving, just like you said." Angling his head to the side, Bill didn't even flinch as the move only caused the vine to dig deeper into his neck. "And you're free to do whatever you like while you're away. But every moment, every second… know that you'll be the one responsible for leaving a trail of death behind you."

The air began to stir and Mabel's body sudden grew heavy like the sun had just been thrown upon her shoulders. She managed to right herself, but immediately knew what was to come. However, the thickening miasma practically paralyzed her, weighing her down like chains whose every link weighed a thousand tons.

"Because, like it or not, you know, I know, and I know you know that I will not only kill but completely slaughter and torture anyone who touches you because of one little fact that you're forgetting, Wife." His golden hair blackened and his skin darkened to blood red. It was fitting, considering red was practically all he could see.

"The fact, forever and always, that you," his hand rose toward his neck, "are," he grasped the vine tightly in his gloved hand, " _MINE!"_ He roared, sounding more beast than god.

His hand and entire body erupted in flames which ate at the length of the vine like a fuse, and quickly snaked out to engulf the sources. The blue blaze around Bill grew rapidly until the concentration of light and heat finally erupted and burst out in all directions.

Just before the blast, Mabel did her best to cover herself and squeezed her eyes shut to brace for impact.

The air itself felt like it was burning all around them when Mabel finally opened her eyes and gaped at the damage all around her. The ground was scorched, just like a "meadow" outside. Everything was black and burning and the destruction to her place went on far enough that it now resembled a burnt forest more than anything else.

It was all dead, charred and black. Everything except for the ground below her. Numbly, Mabel stared at the brown grass underneath her and then looked only inches away where the grass had been burned away completely to where even the dirt had been singed. There was no way that should have been possible unless…

Bill was breathing so heavily that his entire body rose and fell with his breaths. His demonic form fit perfectly with the deadened landscape around him which he only seemed to notice when he heard his wife's anguished cry.

"DIPPY!"

His head snapped up to see a pine tree, burnt to the branch, rooted in the ground in front of Mabel. He frowned in confusion, swearing that there had been nothing in front of her before, but understood when the charred mass of wood collapsed onto itself and left a tiny spritely form in the ashes.

"O-Oh my g…" Mabel words were caught in her throat and it sounded as if she were choking on them as she crawled over to her tender. Her hands reached out to him, but she pulled back as if afraid she would hurt him more. Dippy didn't move and the extent of the damage to the sprite was hard to assess when he appeared to be just a black mass.

Somehow, the little sprite had shapeshifted to take the brunt of Bill's inferno for Mabel just before it had reached her.

Tears streamed down Mabel's face as she tried to call out to her motionless amanati. Then, very weakly, Dippy turned his head and let out two little clicks. Mabel immediately covered her mouth and whimpered softly into her hands. She could only imagine the pain he was in, yet he was still worried about her.

Bill approached the two slowly, his form returning to normal as, for once, he struggled to find the right words to say.

"Mabel, I-" Bill paused when he didn't catch her muffled speech. "What?"

Her brown locks shadowed her expression as she crouched over Dippy and pulled her trembling hands from her face. "Get. Out." She repeated lowly as her tears dropped to the desolated ground.

"I didn't see him-"

"I said _GET OUT_!" Mabel shrieked. Rose vines shot out from the ground to wrap around Bill, tearing into his skin more violently than before and began pulling at him in different directions.

He grimaced and struggled within their grip. She was serious and it left him with two options.

The vines fell to the charred ground when their target disappeared from their grasp, but readied themselves to seek him out once more. However, he was long gone.

 _It's only forever, Shooting Star. Not long at all. (1)_

 _There has to be a way out. There always is._

* * *

(1) Dialogue from "Forever" by samanthapaints on tumblr. Link in profile.

Author's Note: This chapter was on the longer side just because it ended up that way, but I'm also gearing up for finals, so a new chapter may not come out until after that's done, but this story is still going strong! I'm super excited to have finally gotten into some of the good stuff and I just want to say thank you all for your kind comments and support. It sometimes makes me motivated and thinks i cans rites goodly. XD


	4. Chapter 4

For the first time in hours, Mabel was able to smile even though she felt like she could pass out at any moment.

With patience and a careful hand, Dippy was on a fast road to recovery, though he wouldn't be able to leave the bubble feeding him her energy for at least a day. After Bill had left, she had retreated to the remains of the forest with the sprite and, to her relief, the other sprites had taken the hint at Bill's presence and booked it to the farthest reaches of the forest where the blast hadn't reached.

However, it would take a very long time for the goddess to muster up enough energy to regrow what Bill had destroyed, especially with the decline of her powers. Just fighting Bill and then healing Dippy had taken a heavy toll on her.

She hadn't realized her eyes had fluttered shut until she heard the soft echoing tones of Dippy's voice. She blinked tiredly at the amanati as she lay on her side in the grass. The tender's skin was no longer pitch black, but a very delicate, almost pink shade compared to his normal pale complexion. He looked virtually fine otherwise, a far cry from his condition just an hour ago. A smile curved on her lips and she would have hugged him had he not been in such a fragile state.

"There's nothing to worry about, Dippy. It doesn't even hurt." Mabel suppressed a wince at the throbbing, hot pain in her arm. When Bill's fire had spread down the length of the vine, her hand and forearm, where the vine had originated from, had been heavily licked by the flames leaving bright red welts.

The other amanati had helped her treat it with some herbs from the forest, but it still stung constantly. Normally, it would have healed mostly if not completely by now, but without her shooting star, she was much weaker. Even she didn't know just how weak, however, as she'd almost never been without it in the Underworld.

"Just…" Mabel yawned loudly, cuddling into the soft grass, ignoring the faint scent of smoke and ash in the distance as a flock of three headed birds flew overhead. "Go to sleep," she murmured to Dippy, shutting her eyes and drifting off.

…

"You burned her forest!?" Will uttered in horrified disbelief. Okay, so it really could be that bad. It certainly explained the blood on Bill which Will hadn't noticed in his frantic plight to escape from the irate god.

"I didn't fucking mean to!" Bill spat back angrily. He seemed to have lost his desire to punish the mystic bird and instead took to pacing and occasionally destroying a priceless artifact on display. "Her powers are normally attuned with mine and I can't do shit to the stuff she creates!" he ranted as he smashed a pot with his cane.

He'd forgotten how vulnerable she was now. As much as Bill wanted to blame Will and would gladly take out his anger on his bird servant, Bill knew that it was all his fault. He'd forgotten himself and almost hurt Mabel. However, he feared the damage he _had_ done was even worse than if he had. The last time he had picked on that overgrown insect of hers, Mabel had taken it upon herself to replace the stuffing of his mattress, pillows and the lining of his clothes with poison ivy.

"Oh gods, Bill," Will ran a hand down his face. "The forest is the only thing she has down here." What was even worse was that the forest derived life from Mabel. Even with the portion that Bill had burned gone, it was still drawing power from her to sustain itself. Without her shooting star to give her an extra boost, Mabel threatened to fall into a slumber to conserve her energy until spring when she could leave.

"Thanks for the newsflash, Captain Obvious!" Bill pointed at Will who narrowly dodged the laser beam that instead obliterated a marble statue behind him.

"L-Look, can you blame her for being upset?" Will stuttered as he brushed some marble dust from his shoulders. "You know how she gets about Pyronica." Or any potential affair Bill might have. Infidelity itself was just a ticking time bomb between the two of them.

"Are you kidding me?" Bill laughed darkly. "All spring and summer I have to listen to news of her flavor of the week-"

"Well, you don't _have_ to," Will interjected. Bill practically reached stalker level with the tabs he kept on Mabel while she was away. Even as her husband, Will found the degree that Bill watched her more than a little concerning.

"And I make one fucking joke about one of my generals and she flips her shit. If anything, I should be the pissy one here." Bill kicked the head of the statue, shattering it against the wall.

"You _are_ the pissy one," Will murmured tiredly as Bill continued to make a mess with his tantrum. The god would tire himself out eventually.

Bill resembled an agitated cat while Mabel was away, snapping left and right, becoming short-tempered and motivated to make everyone's lives twice the hell it already was. The only time he was even slightly less high strung was when news of Mabel came, even if he didn't like what he heard.

Will sighed. The married couple always got so jealous of one another. Yet, from the outside, it'd be crazy to think they'd ever be unfaithful. Sure, they fought like cats and dogs, but just the notion that the other one would cheat on them cut them so deeply, that it was unthinkable that they'd do it themselves.

"She acts so goddamn miserable here, but she gets to leave for half a year. She gets her little forest. She can actually push the god of the Underworld around in his own domain," however limited that power was, "and yet none of that is good enough for that spoiled little wife of mine," Bill grumbled, lighting one last tapestry on fire before finally sinking to the floor.

"Bill, that's not fair to her side," Will commented as he opened a window to let out the smoke and then joined his somewhat placated master.

"Oh? How?" he asked blandly while resting his arms on his knees, the urge to do violence momentarily quelled and replaced by annoyance.

"You tricked her…" Will trailed at the dangerous glimmer in his master's eye, "which is water under the bridge," he added quickly, "but you act like she chose this life when she didn't."

"Yeah, well tough luck. I didn't choose this, but here I am." Bill admitted that he enjoyed being a force of chaos, death and destruction, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't wanted his brother's spot as top dog of the gods.

"But, unlike you, Mabel actually likes her family. She misses them." Familial bonds weren't rare, but they weren't standard for the gods either like they were for humans. Mabel was unique, being close not only to her twin brother, but her great uncles as well.

"I'll tell you the real problem," Bill growled. "She's just too young and naïve to not think that her family won't stab her in the back when it suits them. I _chose_ her, but she was stuck with her dumb family from the start, no matter how crappy they really are."

It made him want to tear his own ears off when she starting going off about her family. She acted like that fact alone made them obligated to care about one another and no matter how many times he tried to set her straight she wouldn't listen.

Just that one supposedly smart uncle of hers was stupid enough to give fire to the humans. And in retribution for the theft, he got chained to a mountain with birds pecking at him for lunch day in and day out. It was by pure unforeseen fortune that some halfling ended up freeing him. God of foresight, Bill's ass.

If she wasn't careful, one of them would make an even bigger blunder someday and she'd be the one to be dragged down with them. Why she couldn't see that was beyond him.

"Okay, okay! Then just her forest," Will reasoned. He was clearly not getting anywhere with the blond god's conscience. If he had one. "Do you really think she wouldn't be upset that you torched the place?"

"She's overreacting," Bill gritted his teeth. "She can make another damn sprite clone of her brother. She can make another forest!" Why did she have to be so damn emotional over everything? And yet he was her fucking husband and she hardly ever gave a damn about him.

"Plants aren't just things to Mabel," Will spoke slowly to emphasize his point. "They're like her children. Sure, she can always make more, but that doesn't mean that they're replaceable to her."

The god scowled, thrumming his fingers against his cheek as he leaned into his gloved palm, pretending to take interest in the burning tapestry.

Bill hated to admit it (to himself as he'd never tell Will), but the cowardly servant was making some sense. Whether he liked it or not, the forest was practically sacred and he'd all but decimated it. And if her little replacement for Pine Tree didn't make it through, the state it would leave her in might truly make the Underworld a living hell for him.

"You can play the blame game if you want, Bill, but unless you make an honest effort to fix this and make peace, Mabel isn't going to forgive you," Will sighed. Mabel was so sweet and easy to get along with. If Bill only made a few changes and wasn't so prideful and demanding, Will was certain their marriage would change overnight.

Bill was silent as he scrapped at the dried blood on his arm from where Mabel's roses had dug into his skin. He was healed by now, as was typical for a god, though he could still feel the ghostly sting of pain across his skin. Letting his head slump over, Bill let out a sigh as his hair covered his usually visible eye.

"B-Bill?" Will leaned down towards the god, wondering if the guilt was actually getting to him. He'd seemed genuinely upset about what he'd done.

"You're right."

Will blinked and jerked his head around. Surely those words hadn't come from the god.

"I _do_ need to fix this." Bill stood and snapped his fingers, instantly wearing a crisp new white shirt, yellow vest and pants.

Will's eyes widened. "Biiiill? What are you thinking?" The humanoid bird didn't like the look on his master's face and eyed him warily.

"I'm thinking that I know exactly what to do to get through to my stubborn little wife," Bill remarked with a foxy grin as he adjusted his top hat.

The blue eyed servant had nothing but bad feelings about this. "Please tell me it's not something I'll regret," Will pleaded with the volatile god.

"No promises," Bill sang as he turned on his heel and Will nervously jogged after him.

"That doesn't make me feel any better!" he called.

"Wasn't supposed to," Bill countered without looking back.

…

"I finally made it. The Underworld."

Beady eyes narrowed at the otherworldly landscape, full of determination.

"It won't be long now. I promise."


	5. Chapter 5

He was going to be sick.

"You're not serious. No, you lost your mind down there. That's the only explana- no, wait. Did that bastard send some shapeshifter up here, trying to keep you hostage all year? I'll kill him-ah!"

Dipper spluttered as his sister pushed him back into the fountain they were sitting on.

"Nope. Still you," he muttered to himself, coughing up water.

"You need to chill, bro. If anyone kills him, it'll be me," Mabel declared. She had way more reason to than her brother did. She sighed. "Is it that unbelievable that I… well… kind of like Bill?" Mabel flushed, looking around furtively. She knew Bill kept an eye on her in some way while she was away and this was the last thing she wanted him to know about.

"When he kidnapped you while I was gone and kept you trapped in the Underworld until the king of the gods literally demanded your return, but not before tricking you into coming back?" He summed up. "Yeah, just a little." Dipper dragged himself out of the fountain feeling like a drowned rat as he took back his spot next to Mabel. With a wave of his hand, a beam of sunlight shone on him, leaving him toasty and dry in a matter of seconds.

"Look, I'm not saying that what he did was okay or that he's perfect. It'd probably be more accurate to say he's a perfect monster, really," Mabel admitted, scratching her cheek. "But he has his good points, ya know?"

"No. I don't," Dipper replied bluntly. "From everything I've heard, that guy is crazy, violent, sadistic and mad with power." He rose an eyebrow at her.

"Uh, well…" Mabel twiddled her fingers together as she looked off to the side. Her twin wasn't wrong.

Dipper scoffed. "And you think you… "like" him?" He saddled his sister with a chiding look. She was always charmed by the bad boys, but even he had to admit that Bill was in a league of his own.

"Dipper, are you really gonna guy shame me about not hating the man I'm actually married to?" Mabel asked with crossed arms.

"I'm just saying, you need to think a little more with your head when it comes to this stuff," Dipper said in a tone of finality. "Tom," he coughed under his breath. (1)

"Dipper, you're just asking me to dip you again," Mabel warned him idly, glancing back at the waters of the fountain. "And it won't be water this time." She snapped her fingers and the water instantly transformed into a pool of snakes, one jumping up to snap at him.

"Gods, Mabel!" Dipper shot away from the fountain as Mabel laughed. That was what he got for bringing up the god of war. "I think Bill's been a worse influence than I thought," he grumbled under his breath.

"Oh, yeah. Like this is the first time I turned water into animals," Mabel said sarcastically, leaning back on her hands.

"First time you turned them into snakes. And real ones at that," Dipper cautiously approached the pool.

"Hm. I guess you're right," Mabel said, petting one on the head with her index finger as it slithered up to her. Before they'd always been made of vegetation of some sort and been on the more cuddly side, but snakes needed love too and were pretty cute when they weren't snapping.

"Anyway, what do you even like about that cyclops? What _is_ there to like?" Dipper scowled and Mabel couldn't really be upset about his attitude towards Bill. Ford and Stan felt the same way, loathing Bill only for the fact that he took her away from them and that they thought she was miserable in the Underworld. Which she kind of was, but not all the time and not because Bill tried to make her so. It was really the opposite. It was just that the Underworld wasn't exactly her idea of paradise.

"Look, it's hard to explain," Mabel began, snapping her fingers to turn the water back to normal to Dipper's relief. "Bill gets me in a way that… not everyone does."

As the goddess of nature and more newly dubbed the goddess of growth and spring, people held her on a pedestal. Her dominion over life and creation meant order. She was a part of a cyclic wheel that was meant to be certain, organized and controlled, yet she was also supposed to be delicate like the flowers that need just the right conditions to bloom. But that wasn't who she was. Not entirely.

Overgrowth, trickery, resilience, and anomalies were all parts of earth and therefore her nature. They were just as real as the harvest, grass and flowers that returned every year. But few saw this other side of her and approved or cared for it. Even Dipper and their grunkles sometimes had a hard time grasping her wild side even though they accepted it.

Bill, on the other hand, had barely batted an eye. Even one time when they'd had a particularly bad fight and she'd turned the palace into a giant jungle with the weirdest, ugliest, worst of what she had to offer (which might have included a plant that smelled like rotting flesh (2)) he'd looked bored.

"That all ya got, Wife? If I wanted to smell the decay of meatbags I'd take a step outside. At least give me something that deadly and my bunny slippers might run for cover."

She'd done just that with a giant Venus flytrap.

"Now we're talking!" He'd named it Bill Jr.

Bill saw her at her worst, saw what she was capable of and her unusual nature underneath, but he didn't care or flinch away. He embraced it and almost seemed to admire it, like he'd discovered something special. It was a hard trait to dismiss.

"Sometimes I just feel free when I'm around him," Mabel explained to her brother who sighed.

"Okay, okay," he said, causing his sister to perk. "I'm gonna find Ford, because there's no way you didn't _not_ get brainwashed while you were away." Dipper stood to leave.

There went his love struck sister like always. Feeling free around your captor? How much more ridiculous could you get?

"Dipper, you said you wouldn't tell!" Mabel tackled him to the ground.

"Hey! Get off!" Dipper shouted as she pulled him into a choke hold.

"Not until you promise not to say uncle!"

Gods, his sister was stronger than she looked.

"Okay! Not uncle! Not uncle!"

…

"You seriously think a bribe will make it up to her?" Will asked as he walked along the balcony beside Bill.

"If I do it right and if I'm bribing her with the one thing she really wants… sort of. Do you have any better ideas, birdbrain?" While Bill may not have ever been in the dog house quite as deeply as he was now, he had still managed to get her to come around to living in the Underworld even if she did complain about it incessantly. Plus, it had worked the last time, so why not now?

"Gee, I dunno. Has the thought ever occurred to you to give her a sincere apology?"

"And we all know how well that worked the last time." Bill rolled his eyes.

"Yes. Very well until you _burned down her forest_!"

If anything, talking to her might put what remained of Mabel forest at risk.

"That was an accident and I'm fixing it! What more do you want from me?" With the sheer amount of nagging that Will did, he could easily pass for Bill's second wife.

"I just don't want you to do something that will make this worse, okay?" Will rubbed at his temples. Bill wasn't known for his rational thinking.

"Tell me. Did you hatch to be this annoying or did you get dropped on your head as a chick?" Bill rolled his eyes. "Things will be fine and it's gonna work."

"Okay, let's say it does work," Will began with a frown, growing somberly. "We still have a very pressing issue at hand. That being finding Mabel's shooting star. If we don't, she could-"

"I know, Will," Bill cut him off in a leveled tone. "There's no way she could handle living down here on her own." It wasn't just her depression that had led her to constantly sleep the first decade or so of their marriage. The miasma and lack of life in the Underworld naturally zapped at her energy. It had left her barely able to drag herself out of bed and that was at a time when she didn't have an entire forest leeching off her power. "That's what the shooting star was for… mostly." Now she threatened to fall into a stasis. Not that the thief would know.

His jaw tightened. That information was sensitive after all. Few knew about it and whether the thief had known or not could be disastrous. However, Bill never knew one to steal from a god unless they had the motivation and they knew exactly what they were doing.

"Then where do we start? Anything could have happened while she was gone," Will pointed out.

"That's why I'm calling in an expert."

"Expert?" Will paused thoughtfully before realization lit up on his face. "But Bill, he hates you!"

"And what's so special about that?" Bill asked, undeterred.

"You really think he'll help you of all people? Besides, he's been a hermit for the last month. Hardly anyone has seen him since he found out some of his stuff went missing." He'd insisted that whatever went missing was gone, but most everyone else was almost certain that he'd simply lost his possessions in the chaotic mess he called his system. There were thousands upon millions of items and documents in his archive after all. Anyone could have overlooked something. However, either way he was incredibly paranoid, stubborn and suspicious. Especially of Bill.

"You underestimate just how persuasive I can be." He might not be obliging at first, but Bill had a feeling that if he found out what was at stake, he could be swayed otherwise. To the gods, stasis wasn't something to take lightly and if Bill was good at anything, it was making a bad situation seem worse than it was. "Plus, even he can't deny how dangerous it is to have her shooting star on the loose in the hands of some unknown schmuck."

"True, but do you really think the thief could know that it's-?"

"Bill."

Their heads snapped up to see Mabel down the way, leaning against the wall.

"We need to talk." Her pensive frown deepened as they approached. "Alone," she added softly and raised a brow at Will, giving him a pointed look.

"Oh." Will glanced at a nearby door leading inside. "Uh, right. I'll just-"

"No need, because we're not going to talk," Bill spoke, grabbing Will by the back of his shirt and dragging him forward.

"What?" Mabel looked almost hurt.

"What? Bill," the blue haired servant admonished with a disapproving tone, staring at him in disbelief. He was just brushing off a chance to make up with Mabel when she should logically be furious at him.

"I said we're not going to talk. Run along now. Kind of busy here," Bill said dismissively, walking past the stunned woman.

"Wait, Bill." Mabel reached out to tug on his arm and the god immediately shrugged out of her grasp, giving her a stern look.

He let go of Will, turning to her fully, close enough to tower over her. "Touch me again. I dare you." His tone was low and menacing.

Someone was apparently still salty about nearly being torn apart.

Mabel swallowed thickly and took a step back, her fists clenched as she grasped for patience. All the while, Will wanted to strangle his master.

"Please, can we talk for just five minutes? I… I've been thinking and I have something I need to say," Mabel spoke calmly.

With a sigh of annoyance, Bill leaned back against the railing. "You've got two." He conceded and then demanded. "What? And you stay!" he shouted at Will who flinched from his failed attempt to give them some privacy.

"But _why_?" Will asked incredulously. Normally Bill was the first to throw him out when it came to personal matters.

"Time's a ticking," Bill told Mabel with crossed arms, tapping his foot impatiently. He had time for this, but he really didn't feel like giving it and had better things to do.

"Okay, look. We've both made mistakes. I'm not gonna lie and say that our problems are going to disappear overnight, but they're not going to get any better with how we keep acting," Mabel strode towards Bill, resting with her back against the railing beside him, giving him some space this time.

"Oh? And what would you have me do? I'm not the one who comes back and throws a hissy fit every autumn." Bill's golden eye locked onto her with an annoyed glare. This had been going on for ages and he might hate it, but he'd at least accepted that it wasn't going to change.

She sighed. "Do you think it's easy for me? Being away from my family hurts so much and I feel so caged down here. I know I can be overbearing-"

"More like a total bitch," Bill interjected offhandedly.

Mabel gave him a miffed stare. "But…" She paused uncertainly and glanced to the side shyly. "Most days…" she trailed as if trying to find the right words, "I think to myself that I at least have you." Her voice grew softer as she stared at her feet. "I have someone who wants and cares about me. Someone who loves me."

Bill was quiet, his expression softening marginally. Did she really think that despite all that he had done? Things weren't always as tense between them as they were when she came back, but throughout the millennia, he'd still never known if she really forgave him or if she just tolerated it all and fooled herself into thinking it wasn't so bad.

He'd been fine with the latter in the beginning, but now he wasn't so sure. He had always been greedy and wanted more than what he had, even if it seemed impossible to possess. With Mabel, the urge was no different, if not stronger.

"You do, don't you?" As if sensing that she'd gotten through to him, Mabel cautiously reached her hand out to touch his shoulder. His somber expression was unmoving.

Bill turned his head down to look at her. "What do you think?" he asked, only the smallest amount of sarcasm in his tone.

A warm smile spread on her face as she reached up to lace her hands behind his neck. "I think you feel the same way I do, Jerkface." She leaned up to close the distance between their lips.

Meanwhile, Will was turning a bright red hue as he watched the rare affectionate interaction between the married couple. He began to inch down the hall. "I'm just gonna-"

"Time's up."

Mabel's eyes widened a split second before a blast of fire flung her through the stone wall across from the railing in a plume of dust and crumbling rock.

"Mabel!" Will rushed in to help the goddess, but his arms were suddenly pinned to his sides and a weight on his body sent him crashing to the ground. "Bill! What the hell's wrong you!? ARE YOU CRAZY!?" He squirmed fiercely against the chains on his body.

"Quiet down before I throw you into the wall next," Bill drawled, approaching the rubble.

"B-Bill?" Mabel coughed, her dust covered face visible under the stone. "Wh-What are you doing?" she asked him fearfully, struggling to free herself from under the heavy debris. "Ugh, gods, it hurts," she groaned in agony.

"Funny, I was just about to ask you that," Bill said, twirling his cane as he flipped over a piece of stone here and there with the toe of his shoe.

"H-Help! Bill!" Mabel pleaded. "Please!"

"Bill, what the fuck!? Go help her!" Will urged his master, the same betrayal on Mabel's face shining in his eyes.

"Yeah, just hang tight for a sec. Thanks!" Bill called as he continued to survey the wreckage of his attack. When something caught his eye, he let out a low whistle and bent down. "Now what do we have here-?"

Bill narrowly evaded the fist the size of his body that swept by as another cloud of dust filled the air.

"It's not nice to throw fire at your wife, hubby," Mabel growled lowly, her clothes in tatters as her arm shrunk back to its normal size and she stepped out of the hole in the broken wall, picking up the object of Bill's interest.

"Mabel?" Will's eyes widened.

Bill scoffed. "See, I'd apologize, but, one, I couldn't care less, and two, I kind of have this thing about daggers being close to my neck while they're in hands other than my own." He shrugged, resting his cane on his shoulder. "I'm funny like that."

"Oh, don't worry. I'll be laughing soon enough." Mabel threw the knife in the air and caught it. "Hysterically actually. From watching you bleed," she grinned.

Bill frowned thoughtfully, tapping his chin. "I'm starting to get the feeling that you're not a sprite." This wasn't the first time one had transformed to try and throw him off before, but they'd also always had a very blatant lack of thirst for blood unlike most creatures native to the Underworld.

"What the heck is going on?" Will murmured in a stunned daze.

"Fake Wife just tried to kill me. Try to keep up and not embarrass yourself for once, Willy boy," Bill told him.

"What gave me away?" The imposter asked, tilting her head. "Was it the eyes? I'm still working on that."

"One, your pathetic impersonation, and two, how much you reek. What the hell kind of nature goddess doesn't smell like nature? Even when she's trying to tear people apart limb by limb, she smells better than you," Bill remarked with a smug look. "Like flowers and trees or whatever. You couldn't have at least rolled around in some daisies or dirt before you came here?" Bill tsked.

The fake Mabel shrugged. "Live and learn."

Bill laughed before grinning widely. "Not anymore." The next moment he was gone and behind the creature, swinging his cane down on her head.

She immediately threw her arm back and caught the blunt weapon on her blade, spinning her head back to look at him while her body still faced forward.

"From behind?" She chuckled with a shake of her head, showing her sharp teeth. "How charmingly predict-"

Lasers shot from Bill's eyes, causing her neck to snap back almost painfully to avoid them. It had been so close she had felt the heat of the blast on her face.

"Now try not to lose your _head_!" Bill cackled and pulled back to swing his cane down again and again in rapid succession.

The shifter's eyes widened before she reoriented her body to parry him with the dagger, being pushed back with each slash from the blond. Her hand shook as she tried to keep a grasp on the knife, deflecting Bill's attacks at different angles, struggling to keep up with his assault. Then, one misstep back onto a piece of rubble caused the force of Bill's next attack to send her careening onto her back. The dagger fell to the side and she braced herself for the next hit, but after a moment saw Bill simply standing there, blinking.

Bill looked at his cane quizzically, turning it around in his hand. "What the?"

It took Will a second to see it, but he soon caught onto the same fact that Bill had noticed: his cane was starting to crack.

"Looks like the fool wasn't bluffing," the shifter smiled, slightly out of breathe. Her head was soon knocked against the ground when the curved handle of Bill's cane crushed down on her neck.

"I knew someone had to have sent you on this suicide mission," Bill commented smugly, pressing his cane more firmly against the imposter's neck only to watch more of his weapon break off from the pressure.

He frowned. That didn't make sense. His cane was made of energy from the Underworld. There was no mortal metal on earth that could crack it, meaning that dagger was something else. "So who was it? The mustache musician? Uncle coulda-shoulda-woulda? (3)" Bill paused thoughtfully, realizing that the list of suspects was way too long for his guesses to really matter.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" The fake coughed as Bill constricted her windpipe.

"Oh, trying to be coy, huh?" Bill stooped down to meet her face. "Be as tightlipped as you want, but you don't get to be King of the Underworld without learning how to twist a few arms and decapitate a few heads in at least four different ways," he smirked. "I gotta say, though. Trying to assassinate a god, let alone a god like me; it takes some real balls. Now _orchestrating_ the assassination of a god like me." The humor drained from Bill's face like the flow of oxygen to her lungs as he set his hard gaze on the shifter. "That's practically asking for a fate worse than death."

Her eyes widened and she screamed in pain as the cane was lit on fire and began to burn into her flesh.

"So here's the deal. Tell me who sent you and I might just decide not to make the admittedly short rest of your life a living nightmare," he said lowly, the coldness in his eye chilling.

The fake coughed weakly, seeming to try to speak. It then turned to laughter, prompting Bill to throw a questioning glance at Will who seemed at a loss as well. "Gee, the lack of oxygen to your brain is really hitting you hard and fast, isn't it?" Bill remarked with his hand on his hip. "Lightweight much?"

"It's not that." The fake winced from the cane searing into her. "It's how deliciously ironic this is."

"Hurry up with those last words of yours. I'm getting real bored real fast. And you wouldn't like me when I'm bored." Bill rose his gloved hand that soon ignited with blue flames.

"Let me put it this way. Enjoy watching your wife's face writhing in agony from your own hand. Burn it into your memory." Her eyes danced with sadistic amusement. "Because it'll be the last you'll see of her. Not that she'll miss you."

The white of Bill's eye went black and he pulled his hand back to torch the shifter's cocky face until he felt a sharp pain across his face followed by a fist plowing into his stomach. The shapeshifter had stretched her arm to the side to retrieve her blade and slashed it across his face before sprouting a fist from her torso to ram into the god's. His body went hurtling back until he regained control of his momentum, slowing just before he hit the railing. Scowling with a grunt, he wiped his forearm over his face and found blood.

Meanwhile, the shifter got back to her feet with a cackle of triumph, a muscular arm hanging limply from her stomach.

"Even if I told you who sent me, it wouldn't do you any good at this point. And unfortunately for you, I'm done playing around." With that, the Mabel-like form of the creature receded to a white insect-like one with milky looking skin and four spidery legs. The arm that held the dagger became long and thin like a snake, while the other arm was a lobster-like claw that had a giant bulge in the upper part.

Will eyed it with disgust and fear while Bill let out a low chuckle. " _Now_ things are getting interesting," he declared as he held his cane in both hands in front of him. His golden eye began to glow as a yellow aura surrounded him and the crack in his cane sealed itself just before the whole thing began to glow golden as well.

"Glad we're on the same page though, because I don't have time to play and I've changed my mind," Bill spoke as his eye turned black, his red iris glaring into the shifter's very soul. "You have until the count of ten to tell me everything you know."

"Or what?" The shifter spat.

"Let me count. I dare you." Bill's skin began to turn red, matching the blood running down his face. "One…"

Before it knew it, Bill was in front of the shifter. Like a whip, the god's hand darted out and his cane cracked against the shifter's hand. It cried out in pain and surprise as it lost its grip on the knife and watched it slide across the ground and fall over the edge of the balcony.

Bill's frame glowed with a menacing red and black aura.

"Ten."

Author's Note: Just a heads up, there may be M rated material in later chapters. Still not sure if I'll go through with it or not, but if there is, then I'll mark where it is and the story will still be cohesive with or without that part.

Also, I made some unfortunate revisions to the last two chapters. Nothing you need to go look at since it doesn't really change anything, but if you're reading this before I revised them, then the ending of this battle just lost an amount of tension.

(2) These flowers are real. They're called stapelia asterias. Look em' up.

(3) At this point I thought I'd make a little note about about who is who in this AU so far just to be clear and so that some references make more sense. Note that I've taken some liberties just for the sake of translating everyone to a Greek God counterpart.

Bill = Hades: God of the Underworld

Mabel = Persephone/Artemis: Goddess of Spring/Goddess of chastity, virginity, the hunt, the moon, and the natural environment. I just decided to mix the two because it was easier with the whole twin dynamic with Dipper since Artemis and Apollo are twins as well.

Dipper = Apollo: God of music, truth and prophecy, healing, the sun and light, plague, poetry, and more.

Gabe = Dionysus: God of the grape harvest, winemaking and wine, of ritual madness, fertility, theatre and religious ecstasy.

Mermando = Water nymph.

Soos = Hermes: Messenger of the Gods.

Stan = Epimetheus: Titan associated with hindsight. Brother of Prometheus. Or as Bill calls him, Uncle coulda-shoulda-woulda.

Ford = Prometheus/Coeus: Titan associated with foresight/Titan god of intellect who represented the inquisitive mind. Brother of Epimetheus.

Sheriff Blubs = Orpheus: A legendary musician, poet and prophet whose music softened Hades enough to allow Orpheus to rescue his wife out of the Underworld on the condition that he did not look back while they left.

Deputy Durland = Eurydice: Nymph wife of Orpheus. Was forced back into the Underworld when her husband failed to keep his word and looked back to ensure that she was following him as they left.

(1) Tom = Ares: God of War. He's not from Gravity Falls, but I thought it was appropriate since I do see a fair amount of Gravity Falls and Star vs. the forces of evil crossover work due to the similarities of Mabel and Star. It hardly matters to the story anyway.

Star Butterfly = Aphrodite: Goddess of love, beauty, pleasure, and procreation. I ship them and these two gods had a few flings. I mean, why not? Also, I do see her and Mabel getting along in this AU.


End file.
